Main Street – January 29, 2009

mainstreetroger

Roger Allen, publisher

Footprint

I looked behind me and didn’t see a “carbon footprint,” only snow.

The carbon footprint idea has to do with greenhouse gas emissions. It’s a way of looking at climate change and what we can do about it. Seems that driving cars, heating homes, and cooking steak is producing more greenhouse gas than Mother Nature can handle. She’s taking revenge with storms, droughts, floods, and polluted air.

We can restore the balance without giving up heat and cars, but it will require all kinds of changes in our daily lives. Fluorescent light bulbs, non-polluting fuels, and recycling are only a start.

We need to use less fossil fuel if we want the planet to keep working. Leaving NO carbon footprint is like eating a ripe tomato off the vine: leaves the air clean, doesn’t affect the weather.

You can calculate your own carbon footprint by going to www.carbonfootprint.com.

The www’s words of wisdom

  • On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the ? escape key.
  • Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
  • Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, some days ? you’re the statue.
  • Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he ? isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are ? you won’t be needing him again.
  • I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a ? perception problem.
  • Am I getting smart with you? How would ?you know?
  • I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
  • I don’t suffer from stress. I’m a carrier.?• Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars ? in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where ? is the ceiling?!”
  • Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons. To them, you ? are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
  • I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound ? they make as they go flying by.
  • Someday we’ll look back on all this and plow into a ? parked car.

See No. 3, Above

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

“Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?”

“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy.”

Compatible

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

About Squire News

The Squire has been Rockford’s free weekly newspaper since 1871. Our loyal readership includes over fifteen thousand homes in the Rockford area, including the affluent Lakes area of Lake Bella Vista, Bostwick Lake and Silver Lake; Belmont, Blythefield, as well as Algoma, Courtland, Cannon and Plainfield Townships. The Squire is distributed through the U.S. Post Office every Thursday. We also deliver to in-town businesses and homes with paper carriers and news stands in our grocery stores and over thirty local shops.
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