Main Street – March 5, 2009

Roger Allen, publisher

The Taliban and those who want a radical social system are opposed to women learning to read and write. They have rather strict penalties for lots of things we think of as being normal or right for women. These guys are the real rednecks of the world and their approach to women is ludicrous (that’s a big word – if you know the meaning you are not a “redneck”). Much of the world is tending toward equal treatment of women, and we are better for it. It’s something like a balanced diet. It’s healthier!

For better or worse – 1909

* The average life expectancy was 47 years.

* Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

* There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.

* The average wage in 1908 was 22 cents per hour.

* Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as “substandard.”

* Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn’t been invented yet.

* There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A.

Fairy tale

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, “The tooth fairy will never believe this!”

Bury our problem

There’s been talk of solving the problem of global warming by burying our excess CO2 in the ground. It’s not as easy as it seems. First you have to gather the gas and then stuff it into old wells and mines. Maybe it will stay there, maybe not. This stuffing is not free, either. Find the hole in the ground, get the gas to it, pump it down. We’d do better to control it before it gets into the air.

Help on the way

A man was driving on a lonely, mountain road in a blinding rainstorm when his car skidded and fell into a deep ravine. He managed to jump out – just before the car went over the cliff – and grabbed a large tree limb. Looking down at jagged rocks about 100 feet below, he yelled, “Can anybody up there hear me?”

A loud rumbling voice said, “I can hear thee, my son, and I will save you if you have faith. Do you have faith?”

The man replied, “I have faith and will do anything you say if you will only save me.”

The voice said, “Let go of the limb, my son.”

Looking down at the jagged rocks below, the man shouted, “Can anybody else up there hear me?

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