Main Street

Roger Allen, publisher.

Roger Allen, publisher.

Green thumbs

The Rockford Garden Club had its plant sale last Saturday. It was a cool, rainy morning, and early, too. It started at 9:00 a.m., with the line outside the Rotary Pavilion forming before that. I only had time for one cup of coffee before I went.

I was astonished at the number of people furiously buying. To me, the plants looked like stuff I see all over in yards or even vacant lots. The Pavilion was jammed with people obviously enthused about this stuff.  I understood there were some choice items, and they were cheap compared with a garden shop.

More power to the gardeners of the world! They help keep the place looking nice and they get a lot of enjoyment from it. I looked at my thumb and it still didn’t have a tinge of green so I went home to get more coffee.


Some people are kind to me. They send me stuff for this column. I guess they notice I need help. Several poems came in from a school class, all very nice. This one was sent by seventh-grader Will Zimmerman.

On a warm summer day

All the children laugh and play,

Basketballs and footballs flying to and fro.

They were happy to be freed from the terrible snow.


And when winter came

And when the winter winds blew,

They had their mothers brew

     Nice hot soup.

No more shooting basketballs at a hoop.


As winter tightens its hold,

Children find entertainment growing mold.

But when spring comes around

What they thought was lost now is found,

The nice warm sun.


I sure share Will’s feelings about winter and summer.

First choice

     An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have three possible donors. The first is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. And the third is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years. Which would you prefer?”

After some thought, the patient replied, “I’ll take the lawyer’s heart.”

The transplant was a success. Afterward, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the lawyer’s heart.

“It was easy,” replied the patient. “I wanted a heart that hadn’t been used.”

For Your Information

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

About Squire News 6222 Articles
The Squire has been Rockford’s free weekly newspaper since 1871. Our loyal readership includes over fifteen thousand homes in the Rockford area, including the affluent Lakes area of Lake Bella Vista, Bostwick Lake and Silver Lake; Belmont, Blythefield, as well as Algoma, Courtland, Cannon and Plainfield Townships. The Squire is distributed through the U.S. Post Office every Thursday. We also deliver to in-town businesses and homes with paper carriers and news stands in our grocery stores and over thirty local shops.