Main Street – July 2 2009

Roger Allen, publisher.

Roger Allen, publisher.

America’s last king

Every Independence Day we wave the flag for our Founding Fathers who led the revolution. This year, in the renewed spirit of fairness, let’s say a few additional words about the guy on the other side, King George III of Britain.

Down the centuries, he’s been portrayed as a loony in lace cuffs. Actually, he was a pretty stable ruler in between bouts of what medical experts now think was the blood disease porphyria. (During his sick times, yes, he acted like a lunatic.)

We’ve regarded him as a tyrant. In that day and age, however, ruling their colonies was what European monarchs did. North American holdings represented a big investment and a large part of British lands; little wonder the king didn’t let them (us) get away without a fight. And, as European rulers go, King George was a fairly moderate landlord.

George III got utterly bad press for at least 150 years after the launching of the U.S.A. Nowadays, historians don’t roll their eyes about him quite as much.

Who knows? A more recent George in American history may get some of that revisionist history he’s been hoping for, although it’s never quick in coming. As he said in May 2008, “I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.”

Despite wars and financial and political downers, our country, 200+ years later, is still a going concern guided by the Constitution put in place by our founders. I am proud to be an American. Happy Fourth of July, everybody!

Speaking of history…

They opened the time capsule last Saturday. The high school class of 1984 had buried it. When it was buried, I had recently re-started a newspaper that I called The Rockford Squire to continue the tradition of the Rockford Register.

Over the past 25 years there have been ups and down with the Squire. For profits and pay it was mostly down, and for hard work it was always up-but it has also been the most satisfying job I ever had. I got to know lots of people in the community and I generally knew what was going on around town.

We did a story on the capsule when it went down, and we have a story about it coming up out of the ground. I always love a happy ending.

Happy ending? Well…

An airplane is in trouble. It looks like there might be a crash. Up jumps a female passenger. Frantically, she announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman!”

She removes her clothing, looks around and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who’s man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

A male passenger stands up, removes his shirt, and says, “Here, iron this!”

Last words

What did the fish say when he crashed into the concrete wall?

“Dam!”

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