Main Street by Roger Allen publisher, October 1, 2009

Roger Allen, publisher.

Roger Allen, publisher.


The health care debate has reinforced what we all knew anyway: people like their own doctors and want to keep them. On the surface, this seems a little strange. We don’t feel that way about our plumbers or auto mechanics or cashiers at the grocery store. We may have good relations with them, but not like those with doctors. Our doctor makes us feel better, takes away our pain, and helps us through life’s difficult times—like Mom. Maybe that’s the reason: the doc is like Mom.

Fighting words

The fighting words are “yes” and “no.” They come out of Washington, Lansing, Sacramento, and other legislative locales. Legislators can’t seem to approach agreement on important issues: they remain adamant, clinging to “yes” or “no.” Stubbornness isn’t a virtue. We can’t seem to get health insurance resolved, or budget problems. We have a two-party system so one side can keep a rein on the other, but the intention is that the two parties will work things out. If my dishwasher didn’t work, I’d replace it. Maybe our professional legislators should keep that in mind. “Country over party” seems like a no-brainer.

Food for thought

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Would a fly without wings be called a “walk”?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell… is he homeless or naked?

If the police arrest a mime… do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow signs?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you really done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have “s” in it?

Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

More food

You know it’s time to diet when:

• your driver’s license says, “Picture continued on other side.”

• you ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture.

• you go to the zoo and the elephants throw peanuts to you.

• you’re told you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.

• • •

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The Squire has been Rockford’s free weekly newspaper since 1871. Our loyal readership includes over fifteen thousand homes in the Rockford area, including the affluent Lakes area of Lake Bella Vista, Bostwick Lake and Silver Lake; Belmont, Blythefield, as well as Algoma, Courtland, Cannon and Plainfield Townships. The Squire is distributed through the U.S. Post Office every Thursday. We also deliver to in-town businesses and homes with paper carriers and news stands in our grocery stores and over thirty local shops.

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