Main Street by Roger Allen, publisherRoger

Roger Allen, publisher.

Roger Allen, publisher.

Dinner, anyone?

It seems unlikely that the experts can stop the Asian carp from getting into Lake Michigan. All of us should be looking for carp recipes. In the old days, carp was a trash fish that got thrown away. If things go the way we can expect, they may be the only fish left to eat. I figure if we can eat sushi, we can enjoy carp.

While the getting is good

The President suggested trying to leave Afghanistan in 18 months if Hamid Karzai can pull things together. Fat chance. The tribal leaders and clans and warlords have run their parts of the country for hundreds of years and won’t be changing to please a corrupt government. The most optimistic thing I’ve read on the subject is, “We can’t win in Afghanistan, but while we’re there, neither can the Taliban.”

I served in Korea 60 years ago and U.S. troops are still there. Someday we’re going to have to bite the bullet and get out of Korea. And Afghanistan.

Happy ending

I was in the hospital overnight for minor stuff. They took away my glasses and then my watch. My cell phone was next; then my wallet with money and credit cards. Finally they took my clothes and left my bare butt exposed. Talk about helpless.

But they gave it all back the next day. I immediately hooked up my computer. Ahhh… connected to the world again!

Christmas Cookies

1 cup water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again to be sure it’s the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still okay, so try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. Pick the fruit off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsistency.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain the nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher. Cherry Mistmas!

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The Squire has been Rockford’s free weekly newspaper since 1871. Our loyal readership includes over fifteen thousand homes in the Rockford area, including the affluent Lakes area of Lake Bella Vista, Bostwick Lake and Silver Lake; Belmont, Blythefield, as well as Algoma, Courtland, Cannon and Plainfield Townships. The Squire is distributed through the U.S. Post Office every Thursday. We also deliver to in-town businesses and homes with paper carriers and news stands in our grocery stores and over thirty local shops.