Main Street by Roger Allen, publisher — February 11, 2010

A tip of the hat

This one to the chief of police.  An out-of-town visitor left a car parked on a city street overnight, a no-no in the wintertime. The police officer left a warning instead of a ticket, reminding that the street needed to be clear.

No snow was predicted (although around here we never know about the weather). My compliments to the chief for the reasonable approach.

I realize that the warning notice isn’t a Get Out of Jail Free card. If your car blocks the plows, you will surely get a ticket. 

Disagree

Last month a national magazine (The Nation) printed a piece calling for a federal subsidy for U.S. newspapers. The article posed a lot of good reasons for this. In my opinion, it’s easy to ask the government, but if we want the news we should be ready to pay for it ourselves. 

At the moment, our advertisers are paying the freight for our publication – but for 100 years this paper was a subscription paper, supported by those who wanted the news.  Free, including free delivery, is nice, but we could go back to charging those who want local news. A subscription (which we provide for out-of-towners) is really pretty cheap and we cover the good news as well as the bad. On these pages you find information about accidents, crime, and death, but we also report births, Honor Rolls, and community events.

Regulations

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, the student nurse found one elderly gentleman, already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need any help leaving the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let her wheel him to the elevator. On the way down she asked him if his wife was meeting him. “I don’t know,” he answered. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”

Oops

Henry, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Henry walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days after that, the doctor saw Henry again and remarked, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”  Henry replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mama and be cheerful.’”

“No,” said the doctor. “I didn’t say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’”

Testimonial

A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. In fact, it’s perfect.”

“Really!” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?”

“Twelve-thirty…”

A tip of the hat

This one to the chief of police.  An out-of-town visitor left a car parked on a city street overnight, a no-no in the wintertime. The police officer left a warning instead of a ticket, reminding that the street needed to be clear.

No snow was predicted (although around here we never know about the weather). My compliments to the chief for the reasonable approach.

I realize that the warning notice isn’t a Get Out of Jail Free card. If your car blocks the plows, you will surely get a ticket. 

Disagree

Last month a national magazine (The Nation) printed a piece calling for a federal subsidy for U.S. newspapers. The article posed a lot of good reasons for this. In my opinion, it’s easy to ask the government, but if we want the news we should be ready to pay for it ourselves. 

At the moment, our advertisers are paying the freight for our publication – but for 100 years this paper was a subscription paper, supported by those who wanted the news.  Free, including free delivery, is nice, but we could go back to charging those who want local news. A subscription (which we provide for out-of-towners) is really pretty cheap and we cover the good news as well as the bad. On these pages you find information about accidents, crime, and death, but we also report births, Honor Rolls, and community events.

Regulations

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, the student nurse found one elderly gentleman, already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need any help leaving the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let her wheel him to the elevator. On the way down she asked him if his wife was meeting him. “I don’t know,” he answered. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”

Oops

Henry, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Henry walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days after that, the doctor saw Henry again and remarked, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”  Henry replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mama and be cheerful.’”

“No,” said the doctor. “I didn’t say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’”

Testimonial

A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. In fact, it’s perfect.”

“Really!” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?”

“Twelve-thirty…”

Comments by Our Readers

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    The Squire has been Rockford’s free weekly newspaper since 1871. Our loyal readership includes over fifteen thousand homes in the Rockford area, including the affluent Lakes area of Lake Bella Vista, Bostwick Lake and Silver Lake; Belmont, Blythefield, as well as Algoma, Courtland, Cannon and Plainfield Townships. The Squire is distributed through the U.S. Post Office every Thursday. We also deliver to in-town businesses and homes with paper carriers and news stands in our grocery stores and over thirty local shops.

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