Main Street by Roger Allen, publisher — February 18, 2010

Roger Allen, publisher.

 

Pandering

Grief reigns at the National Zoo. Tai Shah, the cute panda born there almost five years ago, has been repossessed by China. Only about a dozen giant pandas live in U.S. zoos, but China has a bunch of them. Did anyone think of offering to swap the Chinese government a couple of buffalos?

Buried

In these parts we plow ahead during giant snowstorms, but Washington just shut down. Government workers did nothing all week. (Will we be able to tell the difference?)

Congressmen kept busy raising money for re-election, so they may not have realized that nothing was happening.

Big fuss

The Anglican Church of England is in a furor. Some members want the church to appoint a female as a bishop. It’s never been done before. The arguments go back and forth. The main argument of those opposed is that Jesus didn’t have any woman disciples.

Who the heck do they think prepared that
Last Supper?!

Fixing it

I was having trouble with my computer, so I called Richard, the 11-year-old next door whose bedroom looks like mission control.

Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved
the problem.

As he was leaving, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?”

He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.”

“Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error?” asked Richard.

“Nope,” I said.

“Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.”

So I wrote it down:  I D 1 0 T

Ocean View Restaurant

A group of 40-year-old buddies discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant, because the young waitresses there wore low-cut blouses.

Ten years later, when they were 50, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant, because the food there was better than most places and the wine selection was extensive.

Ten years later, at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant, because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of
the ocean.

Ten years later, at 70, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant, because the building was wheelchair accessible and even had an elevator.

Ten years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View Restaurant, because they had never been
there before.

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