Main Street by Roger Allen, publisher

Problem solving?—We hope

Congress finally got through the health insurance issue; now it’s regulation of the financial industry.

Can you believe what some of those guys did?—selling bad mortgages likely to default, and then making big bucks by betting they WILL default?

Roger Allen, publisher.

It was SO easy for regular people to get mortgages they really couldn’t afford. Easy mortgages with low or even $0 down payments drove housing prices up into a big, fragile bubble. Some people couldn’t afford to pay their mortgages and, POP! went the bubble as house prices started to fall. Many people ended up owing more than their houses were worth and just walked away. So: lots of houses on the market; supply and demand; prices fell even more.

A lot of people are hurting from this and other disastrous financial scenarios. A few people, however, got filthy rich from such shenanigans. Let’s hope Congress can pass regulation that will protect us better in the future.

Then, maybe Congress could move on to the immigration problem.

City blowing smoke?

Yes, it did! Last week city workers pumped smoke into the sewer pipes to find leaks, broken pipes, and “illegal” connections. They found a lot of them, too.

Too much clean water was flowing through the sewers. That will all be fixed so the sewer water will be nice and dirty. (No use treating clean water to make it cleaner.)

Sin? What sin?

A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. How many had read Mark 17? Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

Cause and effect?

A well-dressed man was accosted by a particularly grubby-looking homeless guy who asked for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted 10 dollars, and said, “If I give you this money, will you buy beer with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless guy replied.

“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?”

“No, I don’t waste time fishing. I spend all my time just trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this on golf course fees instead of on food?” asked the man.

“I haven’t played golf in 20 years!” said the homeless guy.

“Well,” the man said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m taking you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”

The homeless guy was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you? I know I’m dirty and probably smell pretty disgusting.”

“That’s okay,” said the man. “It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he’s given up beer, fishing and golf.”

About Squire News 6221 Articles
The Squire has been Rockford’s free weekly newspaper since 1871. Our loyal readership includes over fifteen thousand homes in the Rockford area, including the affluent Lakes area of Lake Bella Vista, Bostwick Lake and Silver Lake; Belmont, Blythefield, as well as Algoma, Courtland, Cannon and Plainfield Townships. The Squire is distributed through the U.S. Post Office every Thursday. We also deliver to in-town businesses and homes with paper carriers and news stands in our grocery stores and over thirty local shops.