Main Street by Roger Allen, publisher—July 1, 2010


Roger Allen, publisher.

Best hope


Efforts to fix the “Spill” have been disappointing. We are all pinning our hopes on the relief well designed to plug the old well. It’s still over a month away. But what if that doesn’t work? Nothing else has. It could mean the end of BP as a very major international corporation. The President will surely demand they keep paying damages until all their money is gone. And what then? The worst case scenario may be too serious to contemplate. 

Back on Main Street

The effects of the recession are still with us. Michigan has been hard hit because of the migration of the auto business to Japan. We won’t get that back. Local business has been hit hard but most are hanging in. Some, however, have gone—with their hopes. Things are slowly picking up. We will recover, but it’s going to take a while. 

Lighter side

The computer company Jane works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that included a pair of cuff links. One was inscribed Ctrl (control) and the other Esc (escape), just as they look on a computer keyboard.

“They would make a good present for any man,” Jane commented to a colleague, “if only to remind him of the two things he can never have.” 

Last name basis

My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway.

“I’ll tell you what,” he told her. “In the spirit of compromise, why don’t you name the boat?”

Being a good sport, she accepted.

When her husband went to the dock for the maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side: “For Sale.” 


Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and was eager to help the students. One day during recess, she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

Sandy approached and asked the girl if she was all right. The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed that the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?”

The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling that she was making progress, Sandy then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?”

“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”

About Squire News
The Squire has been Rockford’s free weekly newspaper since 1871. Our loyal readership includes over fifteen thousand homes in the Rockford area, including the affluent Lakes area of Lake Bella Vista, Bostwick Lake and Silver Lake; Belmont, Blythefield, as well as Algoma, Courtland, Cannon and Plainfield Townships. The Squire is distributed through the U.S. Post Office every Thursday. We also deliver to in-town businesses and homes with paper carriers and news stands in our grocery stores and over thirty local shops.

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