Main Street by Roger Allen, publisher — October 14, 2010

Out of Iraq

They say the long war is over in Iraq. It started with a sweep of military might, which left the enemy army in shambles. Then we took over the job of turning the country into a democracy and rebuilding the damage from the war. It’s all over now and we didn’t do such a good job of it. They are still killing each other for religious or political reasons and they don’t have enough electricity.

Roger Allen, publisher.

Now we are trying the same in Afghanistan. The Russians tried it and gave up. We could do it if we want to take another 10 or 20 years and all our money and troops. I think the results would be worse. And then we have Pakistan! 

Hole in the Earth

There is a big hole in the earth behind the downtown Post Office. It used to be the Wolverine plant, which has just been torn down.

I understand Wolverine came to Rockford in 1905 and put a generator on the dam and provided electricity to the plant and the City. They grew and expanded and built more buildings (Remember the Outlet Mall?) and became a significant part of Rockford. Along came Hush Puppies, which are still a favorite. It’s a hole in the world now, but the City has done good things with the riverfront, and Wolverine has done good things for Rockford. It will be interesting to see what develops. 

Blondes have more…

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he bought her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and adored her new phone.

The next day, Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband. “Hi Susie,” he said, “how do you like your new phone?”

Susie replied, “I just love it! It’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there’s one thing I don’t understand.”

“What’s that, sweetie?” asked her husband.

“How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?” 

Another blonde

There was a blonde that lived in a small house on the corner of 4th Avenue. She had a shed in her backyard where she kept gardening tools. One day, she saw smoke coming out of the roof of the shed.

In a panic, she called 911. They answered and said, “This is Joe, is there an emergency?”

The blonde replied, “Yes, my shed is on fire!!!”

Joe said, “Don’t panic, help is on the way… where do you live?”

The blonde said, “IN A HOUSE, NOW HURRY!!”

Joe calmly responded back, “How are we supposed to get there?”

The blonde answered back, “DUH!!! A BIG RED TRUCK!”

(Thanks, Michelle.)

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The Squire has been Rockford’s free weekly newspaper since 1871. Our loyal readership includes over fifteen thousand homes in the Rockford area, including the affluent Lakes area of Lake Bella Vista, Bostwick Lake and Silver Lake; Belmont, Blythefield, as well as Algoma, Courtland, Cannon and Plainfield Townships. The Squire is distributed through the U.S. Post Office every Thursday. We also deliver to in-town businesses and homes with paper carriers and news stands in our grocery stores and over thirty local shops.

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