Main Street by Roger Allen, publisher — November 4, 2010

Pretty scary

The scary election commercials are over and now we’re back to the regular dumb TV commercials. That’s the good news.

Despite new people in office, nothing much will change. That’s the bad news.

Roger Allen, publisher.

Subprime Court

I agree with Richard Jackson Jr. (Rockford) that we don’t need big corporations promoting candidates with huge sums. The Supreme Court ought to review its ruling.

Good one

A good joke bears repeating:

Harry had lived his life as a miser and squirreled away all his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “I want you to put all my money in the casket with me.”

Despite his flaws, his wife loved him. She promised, with all her heart, that she’d do it.

Well, he died.

At the funeral, just before the undertakers closed the casket, the wife said, “Wait a moment!”

She took a small metal box out of her purse and put it in the casket. The undertakers locked the lid and rolled it away.

Her best friend whispered, “Girl, I know you weren’t foolish enough to put all that money in there.”

“Listen, I’m a Christian,” said the wife. “I can’t go back on my word. I promised him I’d put the money in the casket.”

Aghast, her friend said, “You mean to tell me you did put that money in the casket with him?”

“I certainly did,” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it in my account, and wrote him a check.” 

Reports from marriages

1. I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.

2. Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. Well, we take time to go to a nice restaurant twice a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. 

Reports from grandparents

1. My little granddaughter was diligently pounding away on my computer. She told me she was writing a story. “What’s it about?” I asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”

2. I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I’d point out something and ask what color it was. She’d tell me, and she was always right. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!”

3. When my grandson and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Kyle whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”

Last words

“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

Other Stories from the Squire

Top News…


Key Leaders of the Event Inducted into the MASA Winners’ Circle Greenville, MI February 2, 2015 … [Continue Reading...]


Congratulations to Parkside students Olivia Humphrey and Jakob Clausen for taking 1st and 3nd place … [Continue Reading...]

Long time Rockford resident, Rebecca Cruttenden, is elbow deep in cookie dough, but not just because … [Continue Reading...]


By BETH ALTENA   Rockford City Council deliberated before a packed meeting room on a … [Continue Reading...]

More Posts from this Category

In Other News

Knowing Your Competition   by David Broyles SCORE Counselor   Regardless of … [Continue Reading...]

Downtown Rockford was as busy this sidewalk sale week as in past years, despite a heat index of over … [Continue Reading...]

Rockford resident, writer and photographer John Hogan shared this picture with the Squire. The … [Continue Reading...]

David S. Fry

They wrote the book on cottage law—literally Recently, Attorney David S. Fry opened the … [Continue Reading...]

More Posts from this Category

Speak Your Mind