MAIN STREET—by Roger Allen, publisher

Recycle us!

Recycling is a big thing these days: paper and glass, metal and plastic. After these materials have finished one function, they’re often not worn out. Increasingly, industry converts them to another use. Smart idea.

Roger Allen, publisher.

Now, consider this: human lives are longer and healthier. America’s official Social Security age will be raised to 67. In addition to later first retirements, we’re starting to see recycled workers. The perfect example is Ken Leys. You may have met him at Rockford Hardware.

Ken worked 39.3 years for Rochester Products (GM). When he was about to retire, Ken relates, a coworker mentioned to him that Rockford Hardware was looking for someone to do screen and glass work. Ken interviewed and was hired. He knew nothing about cutting glass, but the company trained him. Over the years, Ken performed various other functions in his new job, such as picking up supplies and general errands, and today he is a greeter with the title “Customer Coordinator.”

Ken has been recycled for 21 years. Congratulations to him and to Rockford Hardware.

Cold out there

A friend in North Dakota near the Canadian border says their snow is about waist-deep—and still falling. The temperature has dropped to zero and the north wind is close to gale force. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and stare. She says that if it gets much worse, she may have to let him in. 

Cold down there

Q: What sits on the bottom of the Arctic Ocean and shakes?

A: A nervous wreck.

This week’s blonde

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car. Eventually she was pulled over by a female police officer, also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse, getting progressively more agitated.

“What does it look like?” she asked.

The policewoman replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse and looked at it. “Here it is,” she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror and then handed it back. “Okay,” she said. “You can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop.” 

Last words

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

About Squire News 6221 Articles
The Squire has been Rockford’s free weekly newspaper since 1871. Our loyal readership includes over fifteen thousand homes in the Rockford area, including the affluent Lakes area of Lake Bella Vista, Bostwick Lake and Silver Lake; Belmont, Blythefield, as well as Algoma, Courtland, Cannon and Plainfield Townships. The Squire is distributed through the U.S. Post Office every Thursday. We also deliver to in-town businesses and homes with paper carriers and news stands in our grocery stores and over thirty local shops.