MAIN STREET by Roger Allen, publisher

Roger Allen, publisher. “Rockford is the Humor Capital of the World”

In pursuit of trivia

All my life I’ve been pursuing trivia. The guy who invented the game must have had someone like me in mind. For my recent birthday, I got the most fascinating book of odd facts I never knew. (Thanks, Mel!) Its title: “I Never Knew That!”

Did you know (I didn’t) about the man who was president of the U.S. for one day only? David Rice Atchison was president on March 4,1849. James Polk’s term ended that morning and Zachary Taylor refused to be sworn in on a Sunday, so the job automatically went to the Senate president pro tem.

Let’s see, if we counted Atchison, President Obama wouldn’t be No. 44; he’d be No. 45. Throws the whole sequence out of whack, beginning with 12.

There’s more

Charles Dow, a financial reporter, founded the Wall Street Journal and the Dow Jones Industrial Average, but he never finished high school. On the other hand, both President Lyndon Johnson and tenor Luciano Pavarotti graduated from college—and became elementary school teachers before moving on to other careers.

Much more

Military toilet paper is printed with camouflage colors since white might attract enemy fire, and it takes 90 minutes to hard-boil an ostrich egg.

My pursuit will be a lot less tiring with this book in hand. Count on reading more borrowed trivia here in the future.

Rich joke

One afternoon a wealthy banker in the back seat of his limousine saw two men eating grass by the side of the road. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

“Why are you eating grass?” he asked one of the men.

“No money for food,” the man replied.

“Oh, come along with me, then.”

“But, sir, I have a wife and two children.”

“Bring them along! And you, come with us, too!” he said to the other man.

“But, sir, I have a wife and six children,” said the second man.

“Bring them as well!”

So they all climbed into the car, which was no easy task even for a car as big as the rich guy’s limo.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

“No problem,” replied the banker. “The grass at my house is about two feet tall.”

Poor jokes

1.            Judge: “Have you anything to offer to this Court before I pass sentence?”

Defendant: “No, your honor, my lawyer took every penny.”

2.            The teacher was having trouble getting arithmetic across to Sam. Finally she said, “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another nickel, what would you have?”

Sam: “Somebody else’s pants.”

Bonus joke

A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender, “Hey, could I please get a beer?”

The bartender looks at him and shakes his head. “Nope, we don’t serve food here.”

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