And other thoughts on Mother’s Day
On Tuesday, April 23, Rotarian Ryan Kelley shared with the group some facts on Mother’s Day he researched prior to the annual day of celebration for mothers.
The first Mother’s Day was in 1907. The average age of the mother when giving birth to her first child is 25. The oldest mother to give birth was 65 years old. She was a retired school teacher in India who had been married to her husband for 50 years when the couple had the child.
The shortest time between the birth of two children who were not twins or multiple births was 208 days. The longest interval between two children to one mother was 41 years, 185 days. That mother was 60 years old.
The woman to give birth to the largest number of children (Dr. Ryan said this was in the 1800s) was a woman who had 69 children. She had 16 sets of twins, seven groups of triplets and four sets of quadruplets. Dr. Ryan said he guessed she receives many gifts on Mother’s Day.
The most common month to give birth is August. Giraffes give birth standing up, meaning the baby’s first experience in life is a six foot drop to the ground.
Some real names parents have given their children. A child with the last name of More has the first name of Gamble. A boy with the last name of Strap is named Jock. A girl with the last name of Abath is Inita. A child with the last name of Nader is Yuri. A child with the last name of Tabooger is named Oli.
Dr. Ryan’s Mother’s Day comments were followed by a joke-off between Bob Boyer and funnyman Neil Blakeslee. Boyer went first and offered the following:
A man was driving his wife, about to give birth to twins, to the hospital. They had a car accident on the way and when the mother came awake in the hospital she saw her husband’s brother at her bedside.
“Don’t worry,” said the brother. “Everyone is okay and you gave birth to a son and a daughter.” He went on to say the hospital staff said they had to have names for the two children for the birth certificates and asked him to name the children.
“What did you name my daughter,” asked the woman.
“I named her Denise,” the man said. “And what did you name my son?” she asked. He answered, “Danephew.”
Thus in good standing to win the jokeoff, Blakeslee offered his own account of two blonde women and Denise Maghielse, who all applied for a job at the local police department. The police decided to give the three an aptitude test to see who was most qualified.
The first blonde looked at a picture of a man for ten seconds and was asked what she recalled about the individual. “He only had one eye!” she exclaimed. The officer rolled his eyes, said to the woman, “The photograph was a profile of a man, you could only see half his face.”
He asked the second blonde to look at the same photograph and after ten seconds asked her what she could recall. “He only had one ear!” she stated. The officer ran his hands through his hair and said, “Lady, didn’t you hear me say, it’s a profile?”
Finally he asked Denise to look a the picture and share her recollections after ten seconds. “Why, he’s wearing contact lenses!” Denise blurted out.
The officer, impressed, said, “You are exactly right, how did you know that?” And Denise responded, “Well, if he only has one ear and one eye, he can’t wear glasses, can he?”