Rotarian offers philosophy of the ages

Pictured is Rotarian Bob Boyer competing against Neil Blakeslee with a joke.

Pictured is Rotarian Bob Boyer competing against Neil Blakeslee with a joke.

Rotarian Bob Boyer isn’t a spring chicken, but he can hold his own during Tuesday’s regular Rockford Rotary jokeoff against Neil Blakeslee. On Tuesday, July 30, Boyer offered a joke with a lesson on the value of maturity.

An old German shepherd was chasing leaves and suddenly realized he had wandered too deep in the woods and was lost. As he walked through the woods trying to find his way home, he realized he was being stalked by a mountain lion. Coming across a pile of bones, he settled down and began gnawing the bones. As the young mountain lion approached, the dog said, “Mmmm, this was one delicious mountain lion. I wonder if there are any more around?”

The mountain lion froze, then carefully retreated into the woods. “Wow, that was a close one,” the dog thought. “That mountain lion almost got me.”

A squirrel up in the trees had observed the whole thing. He decided he could use the information to trade with the mountain lion for protection. He scampered off into the woods and found the mountain lion and told him how he had been tricked.

Furious at being fooled, the mountain lion told the squirrel to get on his back and they would go back to the German shepherd.

Once again the old dog saw the mountain lion, and squirrel, approaching. He pretended he hadn’t seen them and, as they approached he said, “Where could that squirrel have gotten off to? I sent him out an hour ago to bring me another mountain lion.”

The lesson of the tale is, don’t mess with old dogs and a quick wit will get you farther than youth and inexperience.

Neil Blakeslee rose to the challenge, offering his own joke for the club’s consideration.

A man went into his dentist’s office in a terrible hurry. “Doc,” he said, “I don’t have time for any anesthesia. I have two buddies out in the car and a nine a.m. tee time at the best golf course in the area.

“It’s already 8:30 and I have to get out of here fast and don’t have time to let pain medicine kick in,” he said. “Pull the tooth without anything for the pain and I’ll be out of here in time for my game.”

The dentist thought to himself, “What a brave man to have me pull his tooth out without any anesthesia or pain medicine. He asked the man, “Which tooth needs to be pulled?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Honey, open your mouth and show the dentist.”

About Squire News
The Squire has been Rockford’s free weekly newspaper since 1871. Our loyal readership includes over fifteen thousand homes in the Rockford area, including the affluent Lakes area of Lake Bella Vista, Bostwick Lake and Silver Lake; Belmont, Blythefield, as well as Algoma, Courtland, Cannon and Plainfield Townships. The Squire is distributed through the U.S. Post Office every Thursday. We also deliver to in-town businesses and homes with paper carriers and news stands in our grocery stores and over thirty local shops.

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