October 28 2010
Since July of this year, the Kent County Sheriff’s Office has seen a dramatic increase in the number of business break-ins in the Plainfield, Alpine and Grand Rapids Township areas. Investigators estimated that approximately 50 of those break-ins could be related based on method of operation, time of day, property targeted, and type of business. On October 21, the Grandville Police Department responded to an alarm drop at Belle Tire on 28th Street SW. Grandville officers arrested a 32-year-old Plainfield Township man for breaking into the business. During the early morning hours of October 21, Kent County Sheriff’s investigators interviewed the suspect and he confessed to approximately 35 of the Kent County break-ins. It is believed he is responsible for several more burglaries, which could total more than 50 businesses in the Grand Rapids, Grandville, Walker and Kent County jurisdictions. It is also believed that suspect was supporting a drug habit by committing the break-ins. The suspect was arraigned in the 63 District Court on Friday, Oct. 22.
Carole Baker Carole Baker, a Rockford resident for almost 50 years, has been involved with the Rockford school district since the 1960s. She began by volunteering for the schools when her children first attended Rockford schools. She recognized the value of being an involved parent. In the early 1970s, Carole became a school aide, working with the E.M.I. Special Education students. In 1982 she started working specifically with students who were blind or had significant sight problems. To better serve these students, Carole showed her dedication by taking classes and mastering the Braille system. She continued in this role, working closely with students, until her retirement in 1999. In addition to her role in special education, in 1976 Carole accepted the responsibility of varsity cheerleading advisor when she learned there was no one available to fulfill this role. She held this position for nine years. In Carole’s retirement, she continues to volunteer at North Rockford Middle School during orientation, Valley View Elementary School, and teaching “survival swim” to Rockford fourth-graders. She supports the Rockford community by teaching “arthritis swim” to senior citizens, and participating in the Rockford Relay for Life. Carole is a lifelong supporter of the Rockford schools and community.
The Rockford Chamber of Commerce is proud to present the November installment of its popular Chamber After Hours event. The event is scheduled from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Monday, November 1 at Timbers Inn, 6555 Belding Road. Owner Dean Juth and his staff will be sharing the unique ambience of Timbers Inn for this networking event. According to Juth, if you are seeking great home cooking, friendly faces and a comfortable lodge atmosphere, then Timbers Inn is the right place. The rustic restaurant features crackling fires in fieldstone fireplaces and knotty pine walls displaying trophy moose, caribou and fish. Juth invites networkers to walk around to view the many wildlife paintings by artists from Michigan and beyond. “We hope you feel as we do – that Timbers Inn is a reminder of those enchanted days gone by,” Juth said. Participants are encouraged to bring business cards and be geared up to meet amazing business leaders. The Chamber and Timbers Inn are looking forward to seeing everyone on November 1. There is no charge to attend Chamber After Hours; however, in order for Juth and his staff to properly plan for this event, please RSVP by October 29 at the Chamber office. Please call (616) 866-2000 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org
ROTFL: Dave’s colonoscopy If you’ve read this Dave Barry piece elsewhere, you’ll notice that this is a shortened version. We wouldn’t want anyone to bust a gut laughing, especially since it deals with the gut. About the writer: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. He explained the colonoscopy procedure to me. I nodded thoughtfully but didn’t really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, “HE’S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!” I left Andy’ s office with some written instructions and a prescription for a product called “MoviPrep,” which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. In accordance with my instructions, I didn’t eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder in a one-liter plastic jug and fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) You have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food you have not even eaten yet. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I had to sign forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room, where I took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that makes you feel even more naked than when […]